My appointment with Khamis (Malay for Thursday) was 4:00 pm but we went there around 2:30 to see if he’s free. He was able to start immediately. I told Kenric to return at 4:30. When the boss lady finished her lunch she told Khamis she’s going home to take a rest. As she walked out Khamis said to me that whenever he’s here she’s very happy because she could just take off but what is he to do because that’s his lady. I said, “Whoa Whoa Whoa! Perempuan yang you semalam cakap sangat cerewet tu, you punya makwe?!” (Whoa Whoa Whoa! The lady that you told me yesterday was very fussy is your girlfriend?!) He smiled revealing his slight overbite.

Over the next two hours, Khamis told me about his two previous marriages. The first one was arranged by his family. Although things didn’t work out romantically, they raised their son together. Even though the son is now 25 years old, his ex-wife still keeps in touch with the entire family and attends all the family gatherings. His second wife who had been previously married did not reveal that she had her tubes tied until six or seven years into their marriage. He was also aware that she was interested in a more well-off husband, so he set her free.

They Can’t Get Married

Shortly after his second divorce, he met this boss lady. That was more than five years ago, but he told me they cannot get married. I asked if it’s because she hasn’t converted to Islam. He said she will first have to finalize her divorce in China before he can start her on the religious lessons and other necessary steps in converting to Islam. He feels a little torn that she is converting to Islam simply so that she could marry him. Embracing Islam is something that must come from the person’s heart, and not simply as a part of a process.

He said he is fine with not getting married, but she prefers to get married because it will make immigration matters a lot easier. I told him Kenric and I have been together for twelve years and we don’t have any plans to get married. He said as long as we have somebody to chat with, to share our happiness and sorrow, and someone who is there to take care of us and vice versa, that should be enough. This wise man is 53 years old.

Eating Pork Behind His Back

He said she’s slowly learning about the way of Islam but she sometimes still cooks pork. He says it is up to her what she wants to eat. She joked that even after converting, she might still eat pork behind his back. He told her that her eating pork is not a matter between the two of them, but that it is a matter between her and, he raised his hand to this sky. She is scheduled to return to China in a few months to settle her divorce. First, she will have to locate the husband she hasn’t seen in eighteen years.

Every morning, Khamis prepares the kuih-muih (cakes and pastries) that his sister sells in the afternoon. He makes all my favorites. He says the stall is near an electronics factory but business has been slow. The factory has gone from three shifts to two, and are still laying people off. Their kuih-muih stall had to adjust its hours to match the work shifts and survive on less business. He himself has also worked in factories and as a fisherman. That explains the strong hands. I think he learned reflexology and body work so that he could help out his lady at this place.

I’m Sure I Overdid The Compliments

Two ladies walked in; one was Australian and the other Malaysian Chinese. The Malaysian Chinese spoke to Khamis in Malay. Since she could understand Malay, Khamis and I couldn’t chat as freely anymore. One of the last topics we discussed was how his lady is “kuat cemburu” (a very jealous type) and he gave some funny and some disconcerting examples. Last night, when she returned from her hair appointment and saw that Khamis was still working on me, she asked him why he had been working on me for so long. He told her about the whole fainting-and-ambulance incident but she didn’t really understand what he was saying. I told her what happened in Mandarin. Realizing we had a long break in the middle of the session, she seemed convinced that he wasn’t giving me extra massage for free.

Today, when I arrived still thinking Khamis was just another employee at this place, I said really nice things about him to his “boss”. I said since we’re leaving tomorrow, I must come back to see Khamis one more time because he’s just so good and such a nice person. I’m sure I overdid it, and hope I didn’t get him in trouble.

A Special Affinity

Anyway she was there when my massage was over and she seemed perfectly cheery. She invited Kenric and me to return whenever we are in town. Khamis shook our hands and she did the same. I was sad to leave him because it felt like he just needed someone to listen to him in Malay and I was glad I could. Besides, I really enjoyed chatting with him. I’m also sad that we leave Malaysia tomorrow. While I will understand most of the people in Singapore, I will not have this special affinity I have with my fellow Malaysians.

P.S. Since this post is so personal, I will not be sharing a photo of him. Instead, enjoy some photos of tonight’s dinner (Satay Celup) which is luk-luk on steroids, and others taken in Malacca these past few days.

Map of Places Visited